"We don't have time for this bullshit! I've got a crazy bitch on my hands and you're the only one Jane knows who can do anything! Get your skinny ass to 304."
There's a pause before Connor decides he's not going to engage with most of this and just says, "Give me five minutes."
He's there in about three - he ran, not that he'll tell Jane or Hammerhead or anybody that, and not a hair is out of place as he knocks on the door, a little swamped in his bulky traffic cop uniform. Nobody has to know that he's genuinely a little worried.
"Hammerhead?" he says questioningly as soon as the door opens. "What's going on?"
The woman in front of him looks like Jane, mostly. Her hair's slightly unkempt from raking her hands through it and a tattoo of a winged skull on her collarbone is visible above a very un-Jane-like preppy pink sweater. Her eyes are dark, liner smudged around them. "You're Connor? Get in, let's talk."
And by talk she means a mixture of intimidate with an undercurrent of beg for help, because Hammerhead is not used to asking people for favors. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He takes in all of that as a glance, and weirdly, he's more put out by the sweater than the tattoo or the make-up. It's the biggest thing that stands out - but it's probably just a personality he hasn't seen yet. He dismisses it as he steps into the dorm room and faces Hammerhead, frowning.
"I don't get the reference, but I'm an android and I'm a cop." It doesn't answer the question, but Hammerhead can come to her own conclusions.
"Fucking close enough. You're lucky I'm ignoring the cop part." Hammerhead slams the door behind him and grits her teeth, fists at her hips. "You got the announcement about that bullshit party? Well so did we and now fucking Karen wants out and that little blonde bitch is gonna try to ruin our life."
Laying a hand on a cop is a bad idea, but Hammerhead isn't known for her strategic thinking. She grabs Connor's collar with a surprisingly heavy hand, staring into his eyes, and tries to pull him forward. For all the anger in her face she looks scared. "Fucking listen, asshole."
Then the tattoo disappears along with the familiar blurry outline, as Jane clings to the surface again. She glances at her hand and Connor's shirt and releases him, her grip much lighter than Hammerhead's. "Wow. Okay. So long story short Karen's insane." She takes a deep breath, trying to measure out her time before Karen takes over again. "She's going to make people love her and it won't fucking work on robots. Androids. Do not fucking let her fuck anyone, okay? This can't happen."
Jane's immediate revulsion over the suggestion that her robot roommates might've been something else might be more understandable now. She just looks up at Connor darkly, weighing whether she trusts him to handle this.
Connor remains impassive through this, including being grabbed and yanked forward by the collar. He's been here before and he's kept a straight face through all of it - even though he can't help being surprised at the strength she's showing, and how quickly that strength is gone when the familiar blurring over Hammerhead's whole outline appears, leaving Jane. He rights himself, adjusting his shirt.
And...right. He thinks he gets that one time he offended her so badly. It makes him feel suddenly a little sickened.
"I'll do what I can," he says, looking her in the face although he's frowning, a little disturbed and...not sure how exactly he's going to do this. "Jane, I need you to tell me everything you can about her if I'm going to be able to do this. She forces people to love her. Magically, some way. Right? Does she target specific kinds of people?"
"It's not magic, it's a superpower. She looks in someone's eyes and does her thing and bam, suddenly they think Karen hung the fucking moon. That's probably how she got this shit because if she used my money to buy this her ass is on the line." Jane glares down at the pink sweater. It wasn't even a decent color like maroon or salmon, just a straight-up Barbie pink. That was an easier point to focus on than the absolute nightmare Karen might be.
"Yeah, she does. She's going to go after guys around my age. There's this random dude back home she keeps suckering in, but maybe she's ready to move on. Karen thinks life's a goddamn romcom movie, and she needs a leading man." She glances up at Connor, nervous. "It's not just falling in love, either. If she wants someone to like her they'll be her best friend. But her power didn't work on Cliff back home. I'm hoping it won't work on you. And so is Hammerhead, she fucking hates Karen. And if Karen goes too far we'll have to worry about her too."
Superpowers, magic - Connor's not really bothered about the difference personally, but he makes a note anyway. What Jane and her alters do - superpowers.
He tries not to look down at the sweater because if he does, he'll have to agree.
"OK. Let's assume it won't work on me." If it does, Connor isn't going to be any help, and this is going to be one hell of a night. And one hell of a rest of the year, considering he literally shares a room with his actual partner, who's not going to appreciate this. "I could probably stop her from going at all. Or would you rather I just stay with her all night and make sure she gets back here by herself?"
"Even if she gets other people to help?" Jane raises her eyebrows, doubtful. "If you can stop her, fine, but all she has to do is get some new friends to hold you back and then we're both fucked. Just cockblock her, all right? Act like her friend and she might listen to you."
This would be so much easier if Karen didn't have her heart set on the goddamn princess cosplay she was already planning. But she did, so now Connor gets the role of animal sidekick who keeps her out of trouble.
"Good point." He's stronger than most people, but not all people here, and if Karen got enough help...? He'd be in trouble.
"OK, I'll come here before the ball, tell her I'm her escort and be friendly." He feels a little nervous now and it honestly shows. This is way more unpredictable and honestly high-stakes than he was prepared for. "I can do that.
"And you won't be able to take control at all?" He manages, by some miracle, not to sound pleading.
"Thank you." Jane breathes a deep sigh of relief, banking on how sarcastic sighed thanks can be. Can't be coming off too sincere here or people might think she needs help regularly. She's more than a little nervous too.
"I don't have control over this," she explains. "If I did I wouldn't be asking. Even if I can push Karen out it doesn't mean I'm the one who's replacing her." Considering how closely Hammerhead monitored Karen's shenanigans it would probably be the hyperaggressive punk girl with super strength, which never fared well for the poor schmuck Karen was crushing on.
That's...a little more sarcastic than he'd like, but less than he expected. Jane must be nervous as well, and he can't say as he blames her the more he thinks about the implications of having a personality (maybe even other ones too) that could be out there sleeping with people while Jane is entirely unaware of it.
"I was afraid of that." But he thought he'd ask just in case. "OK, I'll do everything I can. I promise."
And, suddenly, in a fit of curiosity, "Do you have superpowers? You, Jane, I mean."
Or maybe her superpower is getting to keep the others under control, and if that's the case, he doesn't envy it. Actually, he's yet to come across anybody whose powers didn't cause them some kind of trouble. Strange how that happens.
It was, at least, an actual admission of gratitude. Those aren't something Jane gives out very often, they seem like tempting fate. But she has no choice here, and Connor could easily walk away if he chose to.
The question was out of left field and distracted her from her anxiety. She tilts her head, eyes wide and scrutinous. "Me?" She narrows her eyes thoughtfully, studying him. "There are sixty-four of us in here, and every one of us has a superpower. What do you think mine is?"
Before she can answer there's another outline blur and Karen emerges, all blonde and perfectly at home in that pink sweater. "Oh hi!" she chirps, gesturing Connor in. "You're a friend of Jane's, right? Did you want to sit down? Sorry I haven't been able to clean up much yet!"
Connor's shrugging, already forming a reply along the lines of, if I had an idea, I wouldn't be asking you, but then...Jane's gone. He recognises the signs by now - and he would even if her hair hadn't just turned entirely blonde all at once. Something in her entire posture now looks...entirely at home in the clothes she's wearing.
"Uh... Hi," he says, awkward and a little on edge. Suddenly all he can think is - what if Hammerhead and Jane are wrong about Karen's powers. "Right, I know Jane. My name's Connor."
He thinks Hammerhead would physically throw him out of the window before letting him use the F word.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to be here long. I just..." And at this point, he figures he might as well get started, "I was just asking Jane to go to the ball. With me. I thought we'd enjoy each other's company. And it would be weird to go alone to a ball, right?"
He's not actually sure if it would be weird or not, and he's definitely not sure about anybody enjoying anybody's company, but... It rings true. Right? He doesn't get the impression any of the alters share memories to call him out on this.
The smiling blonde looks entirely at home in the preppy clothes, if a little out of place in Jane's creatively messy room. This woman doesn't seem to belong in Jane's life at all, and her willingness to swallow Connor's lie shows it. Karen doesn't just believe it, her face lights up and her hands fly to her face as she gasps. "Oh my God! You're dating Jane? That is so cute!"
While Jane might be screaming internally, Karen's sold on this nice new "boyfriend." "Did she say yes or was she pretending she doesn't like you? Don't worry, I'll make sure she's there!" Someone was getting romanced at that ball, even if Karen had to play wingman to Jane. She was going anyway, why shouldn't two of the personalities get a date?
Unable to contain her excitement, Karen squeals and reaches out to hug Connor. "This is going to be off the hook. I cannot wait, can you?"
The relief at being believed is only short-lived as Karen jumps directly to the conclusion Connor never even thought of and seems...genuinely excited on his behalf. This should have occurred to him - after all, he and Hank already agreed to go before this. It seemed like an event a couple would go to.
...And that's when he realises he can't spend this night with Hank. And let Karen anywhere near him.
"She..." He sounds wrong-footed - and he feels it, too - but before he can start explaining himself, Karen's completely into the idea of dates and balls, and despite himself, Connor finds himself smiling at her. She's exuberant, and it's weirdly contagious. When she hugs him a moment later, he doesn't stop her, though he doesn't really think to reciprocate - too surprised.
She's a bit much at first for someone like Connor, who's never been around a person so...overwhelmingly positive.
"I've never been to anything like this before," he admits, "I'm not sure what to expect. But I like trying new things, so I thought I'd ask a friend to go with me.
"I mean, I'm not dating Jane. She's a friend, that's all." Because it's important to clarify these things. Maybe machine Connor would have seen an opportunity and taken it, but here and now, lying about that feel...grimy. Unclean.
Plus, Hank probably wouldn't approve - and he likes being a person Hank would approve of.
"Oh." Not quite as romantic as what Karen pictured, then, but still nice enough. After a brief moue Karen smiles and stands back, shrugging. "Well that's fine too! Not everyone can be dating. It's still cute though!" It was nice that Jane had a friend. And who knows? Stranger things have happened than two people falling for each other at a masquerade ball.
"But don't worry, Con-Con," she says confidently. "It'll be the best night of your life. I can help you get ready, if you want! I had this dress I was going to wear, not sure if it's Jane's style, buuut you could match it if you want!" Now that would be adorable. And possibly fate. And super-romantic.
Karen pouts a little, and Connor waits patiently for her to recover from it because he doesn't quite know what else to do with himself. And with, 'not everyone can be dating', a statement it's very hard to argue with, she does quickly recover. And then drops a bomb that makes his head jerk back just the tiniest bit, as if she just poked him in the nose with it.
"...Con-Con?" he says, very uncertainly, before trying to shake it off. "I was just going to wear a black tuxedo. That's appropriate for a ball, right?"
He asks as if he didn't immediately start researching the minute he decided he would be going.
"Totally okay, if Jane gets a chance she's going to wear black." Karen smiles up at Connor -- he's cute, he seems sweet if a little awkward, he's trying his best. While Jane might not be dating him, she should at least try to push them to see if they could, right?
"Oh my God, it sounds perfect. Come by and pick me up on the night, okay? We'll have a great time!" Maybe it wouldn't be fate, but it could be fun, and Karen could find her soulmate along the way. So could Jane, maybe. "The dress is silver and it's gorgeous, by the way. I'll show you then!"
"Whatever you wear, it's going to be perfect, I'm sure." He's still fumbling a little over what exactly he's meant to be saying - but now a little of that is with relief: Karen isn't...whatever he was afraid of, and not being used to dealing with normal people in all their quirks is Connor's problem.
"I'll be here on the night," he promises. "If you want me to pick anything up for you, just let me know, alright?"
Hell, maybe this'll be kind of fun. It's not spending the night with Hank, but it doesn't have to be bad. Right?
Karen is the worst of Jane's outgoing personalities. She is a nightmare. She is Hell to deal with and Jane owes Connor a debt for taking her on, but she is still just a girl who wants a simple thing: true love. If she can't have that good times and good friends (however she comes by them) will suffice, but true love is her goal. And she's not a monster unless someone fights her on this, she'd much rather be a friend.
"You don't have to bring anything!" She gushes. "I'm just glad you're coming. This is so cute, you have no idea!"
Karen knows Jane's cool with robots, this just seems like the formula for a perfect evening.
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